I Thought I Just Needed the Right Technique
When I was going through the most challenging period of my adult life, I could barely sit for meditation. The struggle was partly due to physical pain, but it was also mental anguish. I kept searching for the right technique, the right strategy, something that would help. Nothing seemed to land.
So I reached out to my meditation mentor.
In that one session, he reminded me of what I already knew: going back to the grounded basics - the simplest, most straightforward techniques - wasn't just enough. It was essential. That single conversation helped me show up for myself through some of the hardest stretches of that time. But it wasn’t just due to the practical tips he gave me.
How could just one conversation make such a pronounced difference in my ability to cope? Because the real gift he gave me in that session was a moment of feeling seen, held, and supported.
About two years later, I was still going in what felt like circles around another longstanding challenge. And I want to be careful with that phrase - "what felt like circles" - because while I felt incredibly stuck in the moment, that time was actually doing something. All those layers underneath the experience needed space to surface. Old patterns were being called out. Things that had shaped me for years were finally demanding attention.
I'd like to say I was growing through it gracefully, without any real support. And honestly? Part of me was. But the deeper truth is that I wasn't ready to make the changes that would actually move me forward. I was more comfortable staying in the discomfort I knew than stepping into the uncertainty of changing.
Until the pain of staying outweighed the fear of changing.
At that point, support found me — in the form of a wonderful therapist (one who took me quite some time to find, which is its own story). Could I have eventually made those shifts alone? Maybe. But here's what I've come to understand: support doesn't just speed up the process.
It changes the process at a neurological level in ways that going it alone simply cannot replicate.
We are a social species. Our entire mind-body system is shaped through, and for, connection. We find safety in a well-chosen "pack," and through safety is how we learn most effectively.
Here's what's often misunderstood: our nervous systems can learn under stress and fear.
But we usually don't learn the right things.
Under threat, the brain is optimizing for survival — not growth, not insight, not lasting change. What we tend to learn in those moments is how to brace, how to protect, how to endure.
Real transformation tends to happen when we feel safe. And while negative life experiences may have conditioned us to believe otherwise, our nervous system is far more likely to reconnect to a sense of safety in the presence of another person, rather than in isolation.
Most of my clients come to me at a moment of real overwhelm.
Their bodies, their brains, or their life circumstances aren't cooperating, and they don't know where to begin. Or they've already been trying to make changes, and when progress feels slow or invisible, discouragement piles on top of everything else they're already carrying.
What I've watched happen, again and again, is this: when the work we do together creates even a small shift - just one moment of relief, one breath of clarity - something begins to change underneath. Their sense of safety starts to build. And from there, everything becomes more possible.
My favorite moments in this work are the ones that tell me the learning has moved from our sessions into their day to day life.
When a client tells me they used a meditation technique on their own and actually shifted their mental state.
When they reached for a body-based practice and found a moment of ease they hadn't felt in weeks.
When they make their own adjustment mid-practice because they noticed something in their neck, trusted that noticing, and it worked.
And when they tell me my voice shows up in their head when they need it most? That's everything.
That's when I know the work isn't just happening in our sessions. It's becoming theirs and making real, lasting change possible.
If you're a moment where you're doing your best but feeling like you're spinning in place - that's a sign worth paying attention to. Sometimes, sitting with that discomfort is enough. But sometimes, the most courageous next step is letting someone walk alongside you.
If this resonates with you, I’d be honored to be that someone.
About the author
Alyana Ramirez is a yoga therapist and somatic coach. Her work is centered around helping people shift their relationship with their body, especially when it feels like a source of stress, control, or disconnection.
She uses a mix of somatic practices, nervous system work, and coaching to support people in creating a more grounded and trusting lived experience. Learn more about her work here.